I’ve had something on my mind about wedding expectations and the importance of realness.

I said in the beginning I’d never shoot weddings. Too stressful, too important, too much pressure. And then I shot my first one and drove home on this high you can’t replicate. I love the fast paced creativity coupled with documenting people in a once in a lifetime setting. I love the people and the moments the past 3 years have brought into my life.

What’s hard to explain though, is how much I take this job home with me. I mean, I literally work from home. When I started 3 years ago, I just thought this would be a more social job than sitting in a studio all day by myself. (Turns out there’s still a lot of that). But I’ve gotten to know so many people’s stories. And when I find out I got the last pictures of someone before a terrible accident, or I see someone through a stressful family situation, it’s much more than taking pictures. I edit frame by frame, remembering too. And honestly, I take pride in the fact that I’ve even grown to be friends with some of my couples.

Real moments matter most.

After a very challenging but rewarding year, I’ve never felt more assured that it’s the real moments that matter most. Not pretty details. Not forced poses that feel fake to the people in them. Because I’d rather give someone that last picture or a real smile than a detail of a sign any day. Do I love great florals or an awesome venue? Of course. Will I capture the details for you? Absolutely. But do I think that’s what photographing a wedding should center on? No and I could give you all too many reasons why.

I know this is a deeper dive. And really, I’m not dogging on having a pretty wedding. Um… hello… I’m a wedding photographer that started out as a mixed media artist. Of course I still love a great design! But a pretty inspo image is forgettable. It’s just like any of the thousands of pretty inspo images you scroll through every day. I know because I take plenty of them! But can I tell you images you won’t forget? – Your parents watching your ceremony. Your grandpa dancing. You laughing together as a couple – having a moment alone.

To the newly engaged, please don’t believe the Pinterest lie that to have a good wedding, it has to look pretty enough for everyone else. You’re making this commitment and celebration for you. Remember it as yours, not something just on trend, “as good as,” or “enough.” It’s about you and your people. ❤